Dreams!!!

There are times when I wonder what I will be thirty years down the line….will I be someone who made a difference or will I only be a name in a crowd…there is this constant fear of being a faceless identity that people have no clue about….and then there are those times when i wonder do I have it in me….the passion to go on…the creativity to cross all boundaries…the sheer will to go on day after day….to not look back…but what scares me the most is the fact that i might not be the best at what i do….my dad always told me….no matter what your job is…..if u are known to be the best person to do that job…then you are doing the right thing…….everyone can make a roast chicken or a chiken tikka masala or a chicken terrine….but how many have the credit to state that theirs is the best in the world?

I wonder how many chefs went through this phase in life…where they dont know how their present day decisions will affect their future….whether they would come to repent it..or be happy that they took that major step…I am sure even Thomas Keller some day would have wondered how he could impact the culinary world that he was such integral part off..???? I know for a fact that Grant Achatz went through this phase…where he chose to travel across the world in search of his true calling after a miserable stint at a famous restaurant….he believed that he was in the wrong profession and that the fire in him had died forever….and look at him today!!!

So i wonder what is it that these famous chefs have and what the rest of the 52000 restaurant owners that run the restaurants in NYC lack?? Is it the drive and innovation? Is it the creativity? Is it the exposure to media? or is it the sheer will to get up every single day and believe that they can….Why do some people find themselves at the end of the tunnel and still have the will to go on…while some just give up for so many diverse reasons – money being the foremost…

I have a very simple reason to go on as I do…..its simply because I can’t do anything else….there is nothing else that I am good at….just the thought of doing something other than cooking makes me break into a sweat….the knowledge of  not having a good service at the end of the day to fall back on….to make things right….that is possibly the lifeline that I have…..the push… from a dish well plated and the sheer bliss of churning out plate after plate of near perfect food….now what can be better than that??

Well for now that will have to suffice…because that is all I have right now….No Michelin stars to my name yet?…but in the near future…..Maybe….Someone once said to me “A dream is not a dream if it is not big enough…..”